Pain Fog: Living in spite of Chronic Pain
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Day 18. The joke is on him!

3/13/2015

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Today is about doing my best. Barry has been encouraging me to go to Aqua Fit classes for a while now, and so has my doctor if the truth be known. I'm not totally against it, it is just that I have a number of legitimate excuses as to why not.

I guess the first is my deep seated memory of being in spinal rehab and spending hours in the pool as part of my rehabilitation. The second is that I don't really like getting wet, unless of course there is a sandy beach involved. The most compelling reason is, this winter it actually hit -40 Celsius here. Now seriously folks who would want to leave their cozy fireplace in the family room, in the dark of night, which arrives at 4.30pm and get into a pool. Not me!

Pain and lack of sleep are also not the best motivators so I have been dragging my heels.

On Saturday the clocks changed and it is almost 7.30pm before the sun sets. The temperatures are all above zero and the sun has been shining for days. So what was my most legitimate reason is gone.

I had been asking my Physio if I could try yoga again right up until about a month ago and at that time he said I was close but not ready. He doesn't have to tell me now, I can't even do most of my Physio stretches anymore. But I know for sure yoga is one of the things I'm looking forward to most when I can do it again. I asked about Aqua fit, I got a tentative okay, but don't overdo it.

I saw my doctor and asked about Aqua Fit, he laughed and told me to be careful but to give it a try. I had to laugh back because he said for safety sake to make sure Barry is with me!

We had our first session and I lasted twenty minutes of a 45 minute session, and I have to admit is was painful even though there was no impact. I spent another twenty minutes in the therapy pool and tried to keep moving slowly. The next day I was a little worse in the morning but absolutely no bad affects after that. Guess where Barry and I are headed again tonight?
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Day 17. Link between emotions and pain.

3/12/2015

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One of my readers pointed out that she doesn't have physical pain, but does have more than her share of emotional pain. From what I am learning though my own research and the Mindfulness course I am doing, there is a very strong link between both.

Those of us who feel more physical pain (in particular fibromyalgia patients) can usually track back to its onset, and see that we were dealing with a very difficult time emotionally. So what I want to say to those reading who live with chronic emotional turmoil, do your best to deal with it, or else you may be adding chronic physical pain to your emotional distress. In fact there are people in our chronic pain class that are there for emotional pain alone. Meditation does help both. In his book The End of Stress as We Know It, Dr. Bruce S. McEwen, states that prolonged or severe stress can actually weaken the immune system, strain your heart, damage memory cells in your brain, and deposit fat at your waist and buttocks which is a risk factor for heart disease and cancer. Stress also has been implicated in irritable bowel disease, aging, depression heart disease, rheumatoid arthritis, diabetes, just to name a few. So having stress as an inevitable part of your day is not to be taken lightly. You are setting yourself up to become sick.

The sun is shining and that helps with mood especially after the long winter we have had. Although I can't go for a walk, I think it is only a short time away till I can sit on the deck while writing and reading.

I have also recently learned that taking vitamin D can help with chronic pain. It appears as though this vitamin has many benefits. We all know how it affects mood and is said to help prevent cancer - and now pain relief. It is worth looking into. It is effective only when taken in large doses so you need to read the specifics around it before taking it. I have heard from a doctor not to take it if you have sarcoidosis or are prone to kidney stones. So unfortunately that leaves me out.

With spring around the corner I am finding myself feeling the hope of a good summer. I love to garden, fish and be out on the boat taking pictures. That's my goal moving forward, to think about what I want for the future and plan on it.
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Day 3. Focus.

2/26/2015

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Life never stops when you are having a crisis, however if it is normal life it feels as though it does.  If you  have had a  death in your family you may have looked at strangers going about their day buying groceries, banking, joking and smiling, all the while you are at a dead stop.  It feels surreal that life is going on around you. This "crisis" of mine, was piled up on top of another family crisis.  My 87 year old mother had a very serious fall and has been in hospital for a month.   I travelled across the country to see her and help with the load my family was dealing with throughout her crisis.  It was not very good timing for me as I knew my condition was getting worse and the pain was becoming unbearable.  Coupled with that the fact that my mobility was getting questionable, travel was not advisable.  I had to go.  My need to see her, to be there, and do whatever I could was over ruling the fact that I was having a crisis of my own.

I went to Newfoundland and did have a very good visit with my dear mother.  A visit in which I can feel good about.  I cared for her, fed her well and we had honest conversations about her situation, and above all we had some very good laughs.

That was one of those cost/benefit situations.  I could have easily said I couldn't go and who could blame me.  Those who saw me knew what I was going through, but it was important to me.  I was driven to go and do what I could.  My husband as always is my safety net and as long as I have him by my side I am able to risk.  Risk I did, knowing what I know now, about my condition I am glad I went when I did.  Who knows when I will be there again.

So, life doesn't stop, and it can feel like piling on at times, but take one step at a time and know what it is you want and go for it.  I am sure glad I did. my mother moves into an assisted care home today.


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    Maureen Clout

    I'm going in for a 4th neurosurgery; this time it's a repair to my lumbar fusion. Here, I will post my daily updates on dealing with diagnosis, surgery and recovery. Join me on my journey.

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