Le Nordik Spa in Chelsea Quebec is a wonderfully relaxing place. It has many saunas and hot tubs, along with cooling stations and relaxation and quiet areas. There are a host of treatments available but my sister and I go for the water therapy. It is a full day of wandering to and from saunas and pools. This time Jerri joined us and it was a fantastic day.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention the difficulty in the accessibility of the place. To be fair, they don't claim to be accessible, there are steps everywhere. Having weighed the pros and cons my sister and I felt the front entrance was probably the biggest challenge. She emailed and asked if there was another entrance explaining that we realized there were stairs inside. Inside the stairs have rails and are not covered with snow and ice. Outside there is a series of flat rocks as stairs, beautiful but dangerous for someone with balance concerns.

We were reassured when we got an email with instructions for a handicap entrance and parking in another area. We arrived and had some difficulty finding this "handicap" entrance, but eventually found it.

There was some effort to park, although there were three spaces, there was a large truck unloading supplies right in that area. To make matters worse there was a car parked in one of the spots, idling, waiting for someone. That someone turned out to be an employee who came running out of the building, and jumped into the car.

Finally parked, we went looking for the entrance we were told about which didn't require outdoor stairs. The only thing we saw was a locked door which read administration. Standing there in the falling snow we decided to knock on that door since we couldn't see anything else. A pleasant young woman opened the door and we explained we were looking for the handicap entrance that we had emailed about. She had no idea what we were talking about. She suggested we take the snow covered two flights of stairs to our right. I asked if we could just walk though the administration entrance. Off she went to find a manager, leaving us standing in the falling snow. We weren't even invited inside to wait. I am using a cane now, so not so invisible with the disability.

Eventually, a manager came back and opened the door, and invited us in. We explained we had emailed ahead and were given an alternative entrance. She allowed us to go through the office hall away and up the indoor stairs.

It was a lovely day from that point on, but it is a hard way to start a day of fun and relaxation. Thankfully, I have learned to let it go once I have been assertive about the need for sensitivity.

I was able to spend an incredible day with my sister and my daughter. What more could I ask for? Sensitivity training for staff would be a good start.

Today started in an omg kind of way. I had an appointment at the hospital for physiotherapy one hour before I was scheduled to do a half shift of Pet therapy - at the same hospital.

Let me back up a bit. If you have been reading along, you know I have been having poor concentration because of lack of sleep. I would have never scheduled both on the same day, let alone within an hour of each other.

I haven't done a pet therapy shift in a couple of weeks and really wanted to get back to it, as I know I will be missing it so much after my surgery. The accommodation they made for me to be able to go was so kind. Someone set up for me, I didn't have to walk far, and Mary agreed to take half of the shift so it wasn't too long for me. I was all set. That is until I made the Physio appointment for right before. It didn't leave me enough time in between to go home and get the dog. With a clear head I would have spotted this problem and fix it while there was still time, but blinded by lack of sleep and pain, I now had a dilemma. Once again I am thankful for Jerri. Her young brain put it together for me. She would take me to Physio, bring the dog, and while I was at Physio she walked Whinnie and brought her back just in time for her pet therapy stint. It was fantastic shift that was very busy with a diverse group of doctors, nurses, patients and visitors. Whinnie and I loved being on duty again and it was honestly great to get out of the house and feel the sun shine on me.

I was able to do something I love because of the selfless acts of kindness from others. Thank you Mary for accommodating me and taking a half shift and thank you Jerri for driving me all over. Both of you make it look easy when I know it would have just been easier on everyone, if I had just stayed home. But because you did that for me I was able to be there today to allow many the comfort of Whinnie. Not to mention the sense of purpose and infusion of positivity it brings to my life.

Is there ever something that somebody does for you, that you don't even know how to thank them for? That happened in this house yesterday. Let me explain.

It's been months now since I was first diagnosed with spinal stenosis and I had surgery this past September. The pain is intermittent in my back, but more potently down my leg and into my foot. When it is active, that's the only way I can describe what happens; it is difficult and sometimes impossible to walk.

I have a lot of little jobs; therefore they have been piling up around the house for that day when the pain is not too bad. The trouble is, that day doesn't seem to be coming. One such job is my laundry room.

Sounds lame, I know. If you have seen my laundry you would understand. It is larger than most and has a smaller room/storage area off of it. It is downstairs, and most days the stairs are a challenge and some days they feel impossible. So we have developed a system. There's an area at the top of the stairs where I leave things for my family to bring down for me. In theory this works very well. When I go down my hands are then free and I have less chance of a fall. Under normal circumstances I go down into the laundry room and put all the various items where they belong. It wasn't the most organized place to start with so you can imagine the mess it was in.

Everyone has one of those rooms in their houses, or at least I think they do, where we hide the "stuff". Mine was the laundry room. Anything we couldn't find a home for got "temporarily" put there. It had gotten so out of hand, that even when I did feel okay, it was too much for me.

Yesterday Jerri and I tackled it! I lasted about an hour and at that point it looked like a bomb had gone off. I needed to lie down so I suggested we come back to it tomorrow. Off I went upstairs to retreat. Ice pack, heating pad and EMS later, I was feeling a little better. I ventured back downstairs and it was done!

It looks clean, fresh and inviting again. There's a large table in there, and there's nothing on it, can't remember the last time I saw the top of that table. Counters are clear and the cupboards are full. I wanted to cry with gratitude. What a gift.

It's hard enough to sort through your own mess, let alone someone else's. So today my beautiful daughter was of service, not just by being helpful, but by being truly there to serve. I had written about the difference in a previous post after reading this article. It really got me thinking about the difference. 

Part of giving is the willingness of the person to receive. I allowed that all to happen yesterday and received it with open arms. I think there is a lesson to be learned in everything. The old me would have had to been down there while it all happened. Giving up a little control was a huge gain for me.

So thank you Jerri for your selfless act of generosity. You showed your old Mom that it is okay to let go of some of that control once in a while, and allow others to do for you.

After an evening with good old friends and a reassurance of their presence, I had a very wonderful thing happen today. A new friend, someone who has come into my life because of another gift in my life, my dog Whinnie, called and we had coffee.

She runs the Pet Therapy program at the North Bay Regional Health Centre where Whinnie and I volunteer. We have gotten to know each other through the program and it turns out we have a connection that runs deeper than our dogs and need to help people.

I've noticed as I have gotten older I am always interested in meeting new people however making true friends isn't as easy as it used to be. The first time we met was a chance meeting at the hospital, at the pet therapy centre where I inquired about becoming a pet therapy handler.

She and I have a lot in common and besides that she is one smart lady who can teach me a lot.

We talked about mindfulness and the importance of service. We both have had elderly parents transition into a home and watched how people can make a difference. There's a difference between helping and serving. Helping is great, it makes the helper feel good about what they are doing but it doesn't always make the person being helped feel good. It can leave a feeling of 'I owe you', or worse still, guilt. Service on the other hand is something we do without expectation of praise or repayment.

In her article on the difference between service and helping Rachel Naomi Remen states "Helping incurs debt". When you help someone they owe you one. But serving, like healing, is mutual. There is no debt. I am as served as the person I am serving. When I help I have a feeling of satisfaction. When I serve I have a feeling of gratitude. These are very different things".

This is an interesting concept. I know I have felt the difference, and wasn't really sure what it was and why, now I know. While doing pet therapy for instance it is a service. We offer the quiet comfort of a willing dog and never expecting a favour in return, just grateful for the experience of doing it.

I know why we feel such a sense of peace with certain people when we are sick or in pain. They just do things for you without expectation or a fuss. They are doing what you cannot do for yourself and it is seamless. There isn't a feeling of guilt that sometimes surrounds people helping.

I know I will pay close attention to how I help or serve in the future.