Day 3. Focus.

Life never stops when you are having a crisis, however if it is normal life it feels as though it does.  If you  have had a  death in your family you may have looked at strangers going about their day buying groceries, banking, joking and smiling, all the while you are at a dead stop.  It feels surreal that life is going on around you. This "crisis" of mine, was piled up on top of another family crisis.  My 87 year old mother had a very serious fall and has been in hospital for a month.   I travelled across the country to see her and help with the load my family was dealing with throughout her crisis.  It was not very good timing for me as I knew my condition was getting worse and the pain was becoming unbearable.  Coupled with that the fact that my mobility was getting questionable, travel was not advisable.  I had to go.  My need to see her, to be there, and do whatever I could was over ruling the fact that I was having a crisis of my own.

I went to Newfoundland and did have a very good visit with my dear mother.  A visit in which I can feel good about.  I cared for her, fed her well and we had honest conversations about her situation, and above all we had some very good laughs.

That was one of those cost/benefit situations.  I could have easily said I couldn't go and who could blame me.  Those who saw me knew what I was going through, but it was important to me.  I was driven to go and do what I could.  My husband as always is my safety net and as long as I have him by my side I am able to risk.  Risk I did, knowing what I know now, about my condition I am glad I went when I did.  Who knows when I will be there again.

So, life doesn't stop, and it can feel like piling on at times, but take one step at a time and know what it is you want and go for it.  I am sure glad I did. my mother moves into an assisted care home today.