A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. That single step was huge for me. Twice in the last year I have had to learn to take that step. It was a leap of faith, and a lot of work but It took it. Quite literally, and figuratively as well. It's been a long road, but the journey ahead will be so worth it.
Everyday life is enough to fight for but I also have been clawing my way back to health and wellness for a very special trip. One that was supposed to happen about when I had my third surgery a year ago. We are going to Greece and Italy, and for three glorious weeks.
This is a trip of a lifetime.
Although we have been to Greece before it is what I'm most excited for. It is such a beautiful country with such wonderful people. I know we will enjoy Italy immensely as well. It feels so good to be well enough to do this.
We are lucky to be joined by my sister and brother in law who have the same interests and pace as we do. That may seem like a casual choice but it isn't. There isn't just anyone we can travel with. My pace and needs and what I just cannot do are not always apparent on a day visit with friends or a weekend away, however day after day on a long holiday it is careful planning and what we omit as much as what we include that makes it successful for me. Thankfully we have travel partners who have been there every step of the way for my recovery and really get it and respect it.
That's not to say that everyone else can't go off and do their own thing I'm really okay with that too, but it is important going in that everyone is upfront about needs and wants.


1. Travelling in the Fall on a long trip is perfect for me at this stage. It has given me all spring and summer to get outside and walk and to get my legs strong enough to be able to endure such a long trip which includes so much walking. The Spring is lovely in Europe and one day we may explore that option but I'm not there yet.
2. Acclimation to the heat is another consideration for me. I've had all summer to to do that and boy, have we had a hot summer.
3. Understanding and accepting limits is a big one as well. I know what I can push myself to do and what is absolutely too much. I cannot go to the Vatican. We have read and researched enough to know that is is too much waiting standing and line ups. As much as I want to see the inside that exterior will have to do, and I'm okay with that.
4. Shoes, shoes, shoes. Yes some woman as obsessed with shoes. I am too but not for the same reasons. With neuropathy in both feet, needing a knee replacement and my spinal cord issue, I have some challenges when it comes to footwear. Just come with me when I attempt to buy shoes. The sales people must have a love hate relationship with me. I can try on every shoe and not buy a thing or buy three at a time. When it works, it works. There is a shoe cemetery at my house however. I buy what feels good in the store wear them for awhile and then something will really hurt, and don't get me started about orthotics!
5. I've packed creams and rubs and medication, whatever it takes to get me though the day. It's important to have all the tools you have at home on the trip with you because the pain doesn't stay at home.
6. That said, there is the fact that you're not doing laundry, cooking meals and everyday activities so most times holidays are an easier time if moderation is exercised.
7. Remembering the recovery days is important. When you have a big day don't plan lots for the next day.
8. Use water as a form of therapy. If you are staying near the ocean, have a pool or hot tub, use it. Get in and move around at the end of each day. It makes so much difference to recovery.
9. Be okay with leaving things out. It's important to enjoy the time you have so let some things fall off your list without regret. Better to have a holiday leaving you wanting more than to wish you had not gone at all.
10. Enjoy the down time. Go go go may work for some. but when you're dealing with health issues a coffee on the Terrence taking in all that surrounds you, is a glorious as any tour.


And so I'm off to Eat, Pray,Love; first I know we will love everything about Greece, we will eat absolutely everything in Italy and finally we will pray I make in home in one piece! Bongiorno!

It's been a while since I've written and truthfully it has been tough. I've worked very hard and I have seen so much progress that I was really expecting my back to have fused. Hearing that is wasn't was very disappointing.
I've worked though it and know in my heart that there isn't anything I could have done to make it better. Time is the only solution. So once again patience is my answer.
I've talked with a lot of spinal fusion patients and I know I'm in the minority. Most see fusion start after about three months and there are some who have evidence of it at their six week check up, so I was hopeful.
I also know I'm lucky enough to be in the condition I am after a fusion. Many still have nerve pain, have vertebrae above and below crushing under pressure and have as much disability as they had before their surgeries. I may not have the results I wanted yet but I am much better off than before my surgery.
I'm going to continue to exercise and strengthen with my Athletic therapist and walk daily. I believe the stronger I become the more change of recovery I have.
It doesn't mean that I'm satisfied with my news it means there isn't anything I can or could have done differently so I have to move on and continue to do my best.
That said, I didn't write for awhile because it took a bit for me to get my head around this. I was disappointed. And frankly pissed off. Three neurosurgeries and I still hadn't fused!! A full year of Rehabilitation exercises and going to Physio and having spent five full weeks in a rehab centre and countless days and nights in hospitals; yeah, I was deflated and depressed. It washed over me like a wet, dirty blanket and started to settle in. Thankfully After countless sleepless nights; support from my sisters and friends, family,and my wonderful doctor, I was able to slowly crawl out from beneath the blanket and carry on.
I'm not saying it was easy it wasn't. And I considered medication. It's been a pretty tough year. All those surgeries and losing my mother was a lot to take. One thing I keep in mind always is I'm better off now than I was going into the surgery.
Resiliency is made, you're not born with it. It takes practice and I've had a lot. I'll put one foot in front of the other and move forward as I always have.

Finally the day came to have the synvisc shots in my knees. It was a relief to have it scheduled and to know it would relieve at least some of the pain while walking and doing steps.
The procedure done in an outpatient fracture clinic where an orthopaedic Doctor sees about a hundred patients in a day. Madness!
Easy for me as I am in and out within fifteen minutes once my name is called. I'm given a deadening shot in each knee first and then the synvisc is very slowly injected. The doctor is always amazed how nonchalant I am about it. First off he forgets I don't even feel my left leg and for me a couple of shots are a piece of cake compared to where I have been. I'll see the doctor in four months to see if it has worked and to schedule another, as it only lasts for about six months.
I'm grateful to have found a temporary solution for my knees.
Once I had the shots I had to be relatively easy on them for a couple of days and then I am good to go. The full affect doesn't set in for about a week. A week has passed, and although I was afraid it hadn't worked because it wasn't doing much at all first, it is actually better now. I have found a temporary solution and it has worked for me for about ten years. I feel fortunate that it does work. It allows me to keep going and I know if it didn't work I surely would have had surgery by now.
I'm learning that my hip flexers are weak and that causes knee pain as well so I will be working on a strengthening program to bring them where they need to be.
It feels like a jigsaw puzzle some days and I have to put the parts where they need to be but when I take the time to do it it is so worth it.