What a tough subject this is. In my case the acceptance needed to happen when the chronic pain happened, but accepting body changes is a far reaching problem and comes in all shapes and sizes.
I was recently talking to a new Mom who was thrilled with being a mother and wouldn't change a thing except the fact that she doesn't recognize who she is with this different body. That's a very common sediment at that time in life. It doesn't matter if the weight is gone or not, your body has changed. The reason you have extra weight and body changes is a fantastic one, but the pressure today is huge on women to look fantastic after the baby.
The same is true with menopausal women, it is a change that is difficult to deal with. Having lived in your body for those number of years and dressing it, exercising it, and counting on it, when it changes it does take time to accept. Even those few who don't gain the extra pounds see a shift in where the weight settles and it is usually around the middle.
Then there are those who have a lost or damaged limb. That must be the most incredible change of all. How does one get used to not having something that was always a part of who you were? I'm not sure. I do know the weird irony of Phantom pain must add so much frustration to an already impossible situation. First you're dealing with a missing body part and then you feel pain in that same body part? That is said to have driven people mad, in years past when there was no understanding of it. Now, so much is known about it and it is a widely accepted condition. The fact that it is accepted is huge to one's treatment of it. Doctors now acknowledge, look for solutions and treat it.
I have an unusual body. Approximately fifteen years ago, I lost all feeling on the left side of my body from my breast right to the tip of my toes. It came on suddenly and it was a difficult situation at the start of loss which was severe unrelenting pain. So the pain was screaming at me so that's what I dealt with. It wasn't until I found the lack of feeling, quite by accident, that I told my doctor about it. I have loss of temperature as well. I was getting into a hot bath and put my foot into the tub when I noticed it didn't feel hot to me. Once I put the second foot in I realized it was very hot. Perplexed I repeated the process and realized something was very wrong.
It has taken me many years to get used to the lack of feeling I have, and how frustrating it can be at times; yet it is quite amazing how the body adapts.
Funny enough, I have for the most part been able to walk. I have had brief periods of not being able to and having to retrain my body to do so. I've had two lengthy stays at rehab centres at those times to help.
Dealing with loss of feeling has its issues, like walking around with glass in my foot and not knowing, and having difficulty with balance and burning, numbness, and tingling. What is the worst is pain. How can a person who does that feel a piece of glass in their foot feel pain. Well that's the purely ironic and frustrating part of all of this. I have a knee that had severe arthritis and it hurts quite a bit. It doesn't feel like the kind of pain most with knee issues feel but it is constant at times and very hard to treat.
I had finally gotten into a rhythm of treating it with a doctor who understood the complications of neuropathy. Most doctors would examine my knee and when I didn't react to the exam the way most do, they would say it wasn't that bad. That was until the MRI and X-rays came back. It was very clear from that that the knee was very worn and damaged. I had gotten into a treatment program of Physio and synvisc injections to help keep me moving. Then my orthopaedic surgeon moved! Now I'm starting over with a new one. I have finally after a long wait and a series of X-rays I am scheduled for two injections this week. The X-rays showed not only is my left knee in trouble but now my right one has a torn meniscus and arthritis as well.
All of this to say, I too understand what it feels like to deal with a changed body. It takes acceptance and tenacity, as well as being creative with solutions.

I think this may be my profile picture for the rest of my life. The reason may seem obvious to some, but I assure you there's a lot more in that picture than the Mediterranean Sea and me looking good in the glow of the evening sun.
That trip to Greece was what I had planted in my head as a ten year old girl living in Newfoundland. I must have seen a picture and it looked as glorious to me all those years ago as it does today. But that is just the beginning of the story of my profile picture.
Barry and I had decided as a 20th anniversary gift to each other we would go to Europe. As we researched all the millions of things we wanted to see and do, we quickly realized it wouldn't be a trip like that. We didn't want to be running from one thing to the next, and I couldn't physically keep up to that pace even if we had wanted that. The more we looked into the Greek islands and the history of mainland Greece, the more intrigued we became. History mainly for Barry, and the islands for me, but were happy to accommodate the other. So it became a trip to Greece.
As we continued to research we found the picture I had in my mind's eye of Greece all those years ago. It was Santorini and in particular it was Oia. We found a place and booked it then planned the rest of our trip from there.
Barry and I would turn fifty within a year of each other during this time. The combination of that and our 20th anniversary was a perfect time to celebrate. As we planned the trip we also planned our youngest entrance to university. Being alone and empty nesters for the first time we had a beautiful distraction; we were going to Greece!
When I look at that picture of myself I do see the beautiful sea, the sun on my face and the glorious surroundings; but I mainly see a satisfaction and contentment of having accomplished some of life's important goals. Hadn't we raised two beautiful girls, who were both in university, we had a marriage that was solid enough to want to travel for three weeks alone together and we're looking forward to it. We each were turning fifty, with no midlife crisis in site. All of that despite living with me being an incomplete paraplegic and living with chronic pain. What you and I see in that picture is a woman satisfied with what life has dealt her; who has found a way to make it work. I'm happy with myself, the choices I have made in life and look forward to what is yet to come. That's why I love that picture, and the view isn't bad either!

What happens when you allow dogs into a hospital? Magic, that's what happens. The therapy dog program has been in our local hospital for over twenty years and is running strong. Many teams of handlers and their dogs visit assigned wards daily to offer love and support to patients who have requested a visit.
I started the program two years ago with my Golden Retriever Whinnie. It was an eye opening experience even for this veteran dog owner. First the testing of the dog for suitability was more intense than I expected, through having worked in all conditions of the hospital I now understand why. It is important that your dog has enough confidence to withstand load noises without bolting, but obedient enough sit, stay and move when told to do so. The dog's temperament is so important. Being social is what's it all about. Whinnie fits the bill very well, as most Golden retrievers would, she aims to please, and loves to be loved. There are many breeds of dogs however that offer people joy. Some are quiet and loving, some are quirky and funny and some just want your attention. All seem to bring a smile to a patient or family member's face.
It is not just the patients and family members who get something out of visiting with the dogs; staff members are busy and dealing with a lot of stress, and a one minute snuggle with a K9 can release a lot of that stress.
Oxytocin is the feel good hormone associated with lactation and breastfeeding. It releases tension and creates trust. What scientists have confirmed is that same hormone is released in humans and dogs every time there is a meaningful interaction such as petting the dog or looking into their eyes. It's no wonder so many busy people have to stop while trying to walk past the pet therapy centre. You see them walking with purpose then they catch a look from the dog, or in some cases the dog stares intently enough and they have to stop. It never fails to bring a smile to their faces. It's a wonderful interaction and both dog and person are left feeling much better.
Then there are the times when there are many people gathered and the dog goes from person to person. Those times are always tricky to navigate, because the "dog lover" is not always the person who is most needy in the group. What I have found is, that isn't my job to figure out. One such day we were busily navigating a group of people when Whinnie walked outside of the circle and made her way purposely to a woman on the outskirts of the group. Having made her way there she firmly planted herself on the woman's feet. Thankfully, the woman in question was thrilled and bent down to pet her. The two gradually ended up on the floor and visited exclusively for sometime. Finally she looked at her watch and said she was late for a meeting, but that visit was just what she needed to get through it. She said if she hadn't already believed in pet therapy, Whinnie's actions of seeking her out would have convinced her.
We went on with our day. I later learned from her that that day was the most stressful of her career, and that interaction was exactly what she needed at that moment.
You never now how or when the therapy part of petting a dog is working, that's the beauty of it. It can be a private moment. One shared with the exchange of oxytocin.
What that exchange does for me as a dog owner and pet therapy handler is also a feel good moment. Knowing my dog can make such a difference with a small interaction makes me feel good about volunteering.
I joke with people all the time about Whinnie's job. She gets to sit there, get attention, be hugged and petted and told she is beautiful a hundred times. What a job, she loves it and who wouldn't? She is however exhausted after a couple of hours at the hospital and all the stimulation and interactions. She drinks a big bowl of water, flops on her bed and sleeps for a long time when we get home.
And although my approach has always been to keep my speaking and visiting to a minimum and let the dog and the visitors have their moment, I too feel tired. It's as though some of the stress of the hospital gets sucked out of the air while we are all there and we have to let it dissipate.
Dogs give a welcome distraction from the many stressful events that happen in a hospital daily. Whether you are a nurse, patient or visitor; taking a moment to lose yourself in the love of a dog can bring a lot of satisfaction to all involved. We all walk away feeling much happier.