One of my readers pointed out that she doesn't have physical pain, but does have more than her share of emotional pain. From what I am learning though my own research and the Mindfulness course I am doing, there is a very strong link between both.

Those of us who feel more physical pain (in particular fibromyalgia patients) can usually track back to its onset, and see that we were dealing with a very difficult time emotionally. So what I want to say to those reading who live with chronic emotional turmoil, do your best to deal with it, or else you may be adding chronic physical pain to your emotional distress. In fact there are people in our chronic pain class that are there for emotional pain alone. Meditation does help both. In his book The End of Stress as We Know It, Dr. Bruce S. McEwen, states that prolonged or severe stress can actually weaken the immune system, strain your heart, damage memory cells in your brain, and deposit fat at your waist and buttocks which is a risk factor for heart disease and cancer. Stress also has been implicated in irritable bowel disease, aging, depression heart disease, rheumatoid arthritis, diabetes, just to name a few. So having stress as an inevitable part of your day is not to be taken lightly. You are setting yourself up to become sick.

The sun is shining and that helps with mood especially after the long winter we have had. Although I can't go for a walk, I think it is only a short time away till I can sit on the deck while writing and reading.

I have also recently learned that taking vitamin D can help with chronic pain. It appears as though this vitamin has many benefits. We all know how it affects mood and is said to help prevent cancer - and now pain relief. It is worth looking into. It is effective only when taken in large doses so you need to read the specifics around it before taking it. I have heard from a doctor not to take it if you have sarcoidosis or are prone to kidney stones. So unfortunately that leaves me out.

With spring around the corner I am finding myself feeling the hope of a good summer. I love to garden, fish and be out on the boat taking pictures. That's my goal moving forward, to think about what I want for the future and plan on it.

There's a lot of loss with chronic pain. The loss of abilities, the loss of jobs, the loss of independence but somehow for me the loss of credibility is the worst.

At any given time one of my family members can say, I told you that, or you didn't tell us that and I don't have a leg to stand on. Frustrating as that is we have learned to laugh about it when we can.

Yesterday was one of those times. Barry and I were balancing our monthly budget and going through our credit card together to reconcile it. There were some purchases of mine on there and I had money set aside for them. That's were the trouble started. I confidently said I had already given him the money. It was in a small white envelope, I explained. I had been it carrying around in my purse and it was no longer there. I had gone through my purse two or three times. I could picture the exchange. We were in the car I told him, because we were talking about what a great deal I had gotten on the winter jacket. Yes, he did remember the conversation but no, I hadn't given him the money.

Well, I reasoned, if I hadn't given him that envelope where was it?

Then a shred of doubt entered my mind. I couldn't be sure. But when could I be sure really, my mind feels like mush when I'm in pain. Then I did what I often do when I am looking for something. I said a silent prayer, well more like a plead really, to St. Anthony. He is after all the patron saint of lost things. As with so many other times, my mind cleared, I walked into the bedroom, into my top drawer, and pulled out two hundred bucks.

Sheepishly, I walked out to the kitchen and handed it over to Barry. As I apologized he smiled and said, "No problem, I finally win some arguments now that you can't remember anything".

Thankfully we can both laugh at that!

Yesterday was one of those days that I used everything in my tank. I have been pretty much home bound since the news of the upcoming surgery -- resting, taking it all in, and creating this website with my daughter, Jerri.

All of that changed yesterday when I ventured out to my Mindful Meditation group in the afternoon and out to a dear friends for dinner to visit with another friend from Australia I hadn't seen in years.

I'm exhausted, but what a great day, truly worth it. Other's kindness always touches me. Our friend Sandy cooked such a beautiful meal so we could all have a nice visit.

I think we all have those people in our lives who just show up. They are there no matter what and we are there in their lives. They are the real friends who pull together to build a shield of warm around each other when either of us are in need.

The foundation of knowing somebody for a really long time helps in these situations. The conversation isn't always about the problem at hand but a knowing glance or an offhand comment or a joke that let's me know that these people have my back, and in my case I mean that literally.

The same group of people were around me thirteen years ago when I went through the first spinal surgery and all it's aftermath. They know, and I know how bad it really can be, yet we are both optimistic that in those thirteen years I have learned what works for me and how to make those in the health profession work to my advantage. I'm older now and won't be taken so completely off guard and I won't have to young children at home scared, and missing their mother.

These woman were the village around me and my young family. The people who stepped in to care for the girls, bring meals, and show their love. How can you ever thank people for that kind of support? I'm not sure, but I do know without a doubt that I was right there for them when their crisis arrived. Lets face it, we all have one. It is just a matter of when and what kind.

It does take a village and I just hope that they know how much I love them and how much their support propelled me, motivated me and kept me moving forward. Thank God for good friends.

I'm thinking we have made it through the worst of the winter. I never thought I would be a person who would say that. I used to love winter. When the girls were young we spent a lot of time outside. There were many igloos build and families of snowmen. Every Sunday we would cross country ski. We took them tobogganing and skating. Let's just say we embraced winter. There were many potluck dinners with other families after our outdoor ventures as well. We were social.

There came a time when bit by bit I couldn't partake in most of those activities however I still accompanied them whenever I was able to tag along. If not, I would met up afterward for the potlucks.

As my pain worsened I wasn't able to do much physical at all, and I needed to nap most afternoons so it became the time when they all went off on some winter adventure while I rested. At first it was such a necessity that I didn't feel left out or that I was missing anything. As time when on, my mobility and pain challenged me more and more. I knew how much I was missing but there wasn't anything I could do to change that.

So getting back to the winter in my life right now, it has become an obstacle to living a full life. With balance issues any ice makes it dangerous. The snow makes it almost impossible for me to get groceries and wheel the cart to the car and I need a cart because I can't carry groceries bags to the car. The freezing temperatures make joints ache. And on and on. What is most difficult is the long hours without activity.

I have started writing and doing writing courses in the winter. I take a meditation class weekly along with editing photos. For now, that's about all I can tackle, but in the past and looking ahead, winter is a great time to try something new.

There are many things that help with pain, one of them surprising is being creatively. So if you have ever wanted to take a course such as; woodworking, pottery, music, painting, photography, the winter is a perfect time to do that. If getting to the course is a problem for you, then online courses offer an array of things that you won't have to leave home to do. Sometimes finances stopped me from taking courses but not now. The Internet is filled with free online courses, some educational and some just for fun. Check out EdX or writersvillage.com or have some fun and Google free online courses. Pinterest is another way to spend some fun creative time.

So the bottom line is theres no need to be bored, there's lots to do right from home. Speaking of which, I have to run and get ready for my pain management/mindfulness course.

We all have our comfy cozy clothes, our "go to uniform" if you will, that we pull on when we need that comfort. It's the type of clothing that has usually been around a while, frayed and soft from being washed repeatedly. When you slip into it there's a silent awe within you.

I spent most of this week in mine.

The next step was Lays chips. I allowed myself the indulgence of the salt and comfort that brings.

And finally and most importantly, I have friends whose smiles and words of encouragement give me that same sense of awe. Last night it was a meeting of those friends, at least the ones who live in the same area as me. We sat, ate and talked. It was deep, meaningful and serious for a while and definitely not all about me, however the laughs came right along with it.

The social component to living with pain is extremely important and sometimes goes by the wayside. It is hard to think about being social when it's difficult to get one foot in front of the other but when your pain is controlled even for a short time seeing friends adds so much to your life. It is worth every bit of the effort to do so.

Let go of the need to have a perfectly clean house, beautifully prepared meal and a week to prepare. Just make it about the people at the table and not what's on the table. And if you have friends like mine, they bring lots to add and it is always delicious and nutritious.

I'm feeling tired today from that little bit of activity, but my spirits are much better and I know they will always be there for me, as I will be for them.