I remembered my dear friend who put it in perspective for me when she said what if there was nothing they could give you and no way to control the pain.
What I like about my doctor is he and I discussed it intelligently and decided what was best for any given situation. He has final say as far as the academic parts of medicine are concerned, and I have final say when it comes to the intuitive parts.
We settled on increasing what I am already taking so there would be fewer side effects.
That night I reluctantly took the extra medication. Guess what; nothing happened, bad or good. The following night the same -- in fact I was awake with pain for quite a while. And the third night was no different.
Here's where the mind plays games. I started to think if it isn't doing anything anyway why I am I taking it? Why not just drop it again? I was frustrated and almost ready to drop it when I remembered to take my own advice. A few days before I had written the article about pain management through medication.
I had written from my experience with pain and the various coping mechanisms I had tried. I wrote....
"First off, you have to be willing to honestly try things, give them time to work for a reasonable amount of time. So many people start to decrease or add medication and other treatments to the mix before they even have given the first medication a chance to work".
Several days later my emotions had taken over and I wasn't even able to take my own advice. Thankfully I came to my senses and gave it a chance. One of the things I love most is live music and we had been invited to a Colin James concert a few months back. That concert was last night. I went and it was fantastic. I have to admit to feelings of envy when the ladies around me got out and danced in the aisle. I wanted to be out there with them, I could show those young things a thing or two? Couldn't I ? Well no, actually I couldn't. I just smiled and watched.
Sure I was sore and had pain, but I would have been sore and in pain at home too. I couldn't go out with friends afterward but I enjoyed what I could do. Had I not given the medication a chance to work, I would have been at home last night unable to spend the night with friends doing something Barry and I love, watching live music.