Another busy day on very little sleep.  I couldn't get to sleep again last night and it has really affected my day. My head feels jumbled and the pain level is higher when I haven't had a good sleep. I'm not sure sometimes which happens first, the pain or the emotional unrest when sleep eludes me.  
One thing I know for sure is lack of sleep affects so many important functions in our lives that it is not to be taken lightly.  It can cause serious depression in those of us with chronic pain.  
I remember the first time I had surgery and rehab, every time I went to see my doctor he asked about my sleep and emotional health.  I questioned him about it and he told me lack of sleep is the quickest way to depression for a chronic pain sufferer. 

Having worked in the mental health field and knowing enough about depression, I heeded his words and did whatever I could to get a good night's sleep.  It seemed to be easier in those days for me.  I did have disrupted sleep because of the pain but I could always fall back to sleep.  Now I am finding it harder to get comfortable enough to fall asleep and if I wake during a painful roll over, I tend to stay awake.

I'm working on it.  I know, as with the clutter we are cleaning up in the house, there is emotional clutter I have to let go of as well.   Not as easy as I would like but I'm working on it.  
I had a difficult time even writing today because my concentration is so affected by the emotional stuff and lack of sleep.  I know how important this is to my overall health and the preparation for surgery so, it has become my number one priority. 

Tonight I have a recipe for good sleep; hot bath, no electronics before bed, dark room, cool bedroom, meditation and let go of what I cannot change. 

Today I would like to talk about the exhaustion that comes with chronic pain. I have been so tired lately that it has been very necessary to nap throughout the day. Usually I set a timer and wake up feeling okay after an hour, however from time to time I have a period where one hour will not cut it. Now is one of those times.

My body is very busy dealing with the acute pain on top of the chronic pain, and the emotional pain that comes with disappointment.

Yesterday I thought Jerri and I would tackle one of our projects we hope to have accomplished before surgery, however at 1pm, I was all but put to bed. Everything I touched I seemed to drop, and I couldn't finish my sentences and I was a bit of a mess. Time for a nap.

The timer came on and I promptly turned it off after the one hour. After three hours I dragged myself from the bed feeling worse then when I got in it. Some days are like that. Once I got up, washed my face and did some stretches, I did in fact feel much better. I especially felt better when I went to the kitchen and saw that the pot of chilli I had started was finished by my girl, and simmering on the stove. She had also cleaned out the freezer. A much needed job that I could not tackle. She's been so awesome.

Last night I went to bed my usual time and sleep well. So, who needs that much sleep? Well yesterday I guess I did. The same is true when I wake very early morning or can't get to sleep at night. I read, meditate or lie there and think.

That's my approach now, especially with mindfulness, I do not judge or give a negative or positive to it, it just is.