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Day 191. The First Day of School

9/8/2015

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For as long as I can remember the first day of school has made me feel melancholy and wistful.  I have always wanted to be starting something new.  There was a catch in my thought as though I had just missed an opportunity to learn a new trade, get a degree, hear an amazing lecture and I was passing it by. 

The time came for my own children to begin school and low and behold I had that same catch in my thought, that same sense of melancholy.  This time however it was for the summer months that had slipped by so perfectly and quickly.  I loved having the girls home.  The fall air reminded me we would not have that long stretch of canvas to play with for another full school year. 

As time went by and they went off to university the feelings around that remained similar....another summer for the books. 

So here I am today.  It's the first day of school. Jerri is working a full time job at Sick Kids in Toronto and Meghan is embarking on her third year at University of Guelph.

Today, I don't have that feeling.  It feels different.  I sat on my deck and waited for the familiar sentimental tears to well up but they did not.  I've been sitting here thinking about it. 

What I have to embark on this year is very physical.  I have an appointment tomorrow for a Physio assessment and to make a plan for making my body be the strongest it can be.  It's a very different first day of school for me. 

I want to tackle this with the same energy and commitment I have had in the past and I know my body and spirit are tired.  It will take a lot of sheer determination to get this started and stay on track.  So for the first time in many many years, I'm going back to school.  That's how I'm going to look at it. I'm going to make this my mission, my learning and my commitment to make my body stronger and healthier. 

So, I had better get my back to school shopping done.  We need some healthy food, and running shoes!

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    Maureen Clout

    I'm going in for a 4th neurosurgery; this time it's a repair to my lumbar fusion. Here, I will post my daily updates on dealing with diagnosis, surgery and recovery. Join me on my journey.

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