Pain Fog: Living in spite of Chronic Pain
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Day 1. Again.

2/24/2015

2 Comments

 
I sat in the waiting room at Toronto Western Hospital as I had done many times before, distracting myself with my iPad. I had a spinal lumbar decompression surgery four months ago and for the first time in twenty years I was pain free, but it didn't last. I had about four weeks of freedom from pain and the hope I felt was intoxicating.

I was following a strict protocol of recovery and finally was able to go outside for a stroll. It was the most beautiful day and I was totally enjoying being outside and walking by the lake with my daughter, husband and my dog Whinnie.

Suddenly, without any warning I went over on my ankle. It hurt so much! I tried to roll it back but it was as though it was somebody else's foot. It didn't respond. Everything changed that day. The pain started again. And now I'm back at Toronto Western.

I was lead into the doctor's office and met with two Surgical Fellows. They asked a lot of questions, scanned the x-ray, and MRI. Having spent many years dealing with doctors I wasn't shy so I started asking questions. It was clear they felt I would require more surgery and I wasn't surprised.

My doctor came in and once we started talking, it was obvious this situation was far more severe than either the Fellows had suspected or I had even considered. I would not be a small corrective surgery but a full reconstructive surgery. It would require a week in hospital and an extensive recovery.

My heart sank and I tried to keep prospective. I couldn't even look at my husband. I felt him beside me and I knew our disappointment was equaled by my usually stoic neurosurgeon. He apologized that I would have to go through such extensive surgery. I told him I trusted him, and I do.

The final blow came when he told me I should be prepared for the possibility of time in rehab afterward.

Tears filled my eyes and I barely held my composure.

I'm about to embark on my third neurosurgery. God help me.
2 Comments
Angela Devereaux
2/28/2015 06:14:00 am

Well my friend you know what I went through and I don't know if I can go through that pain again but in the meantime it's nothing compared to what you and your family are going through. God love them, you need the support, if I never had Bob I don't know where I would have been. Maureen we have been long time friend and we have been through a lot many years ago. I wish you all the best and will be checking on here to see how your doing. I love you!! Xoxo

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Julie D
2/28/2015 06:39:24 am

You are amazing. To think you were asking US how our day went that day....

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    Maureen Clout

    I'm going in for a 4th neurosurgery; this time it's a repair to my lumbar fusion. Here, I will post my daily updates on dealing with diagnosis, surgery and recovery. Join me on my journey.

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