The faces of my children seem to be looking back at me with way to much concern for their old momma these days. My mission this weekend is to instil confidence in those around me, that I can do this again.
The problem is there has only been very subtle changes in the last week and nothing that is measureable. I can see, and feel differences within myself, but having used my best "fake it until you make it" approach, what I have gained they thought I had already accomplished. For instance, I go ahead and put my right foot on the floor and deliberately walk, carefully rolling the foot from the heel to toe with each stride. It looks slow but natural. Truth is; it has been anything but, I trust it is there and go with it. This week however I have been having moments and times when I do feel it as I walk and it does feel better.
There appears to be a lot of nerve involvement in that foot right now and there are any number of reasons for that. Time is our only cure. We will not know how much is temporary until about the six week mark. At that time the nerves they worked on will have had a chance to settle down a bit. Even a year after surgery some find small improvements. There is a chance that the impairment is permanent. We know that and have put that ugly little thought on the back burner. Doing what we can now is key to get as much function from my leg and foot as possible.
I have a Saturday Physio session again this week, which is fantastic. They have contacts with physios around the city to come in on Saturdays so that there is not such a gap in care. Many want the break....not me.
Little Whinnie McKinny bounded into my room again last night like a ball of golden sunshine, bringing with her the most beautiful Meghan.
We're together for the weekend and unfortunately it is a dull misty rainy one. I have been given day passes to get out a bit. Challenging but doable.
I watched a movie last night before bed and I couldn't tell you a thing about it but it must have worked its magic because I fell asleep right afterward. I'm up to five hours sleep now. Starting to feel more like myself.
It's the little things you miss if they're taken away. Being able to shower and care for yourself, getting where I need to go, reaching things, fitting into an elevator when there are people there, having to ask someone to bring you things feels so foreign yet getting from a comfortable position to get something and try to get back to where you were is almost impossible...asking is better. The worst thing about being dependent on others is the reaction of those you ask to help you.
Seems simple doesn't it. Let me explain.
1. The Overkill....the pillow fluffer, fussy person who can't stop doing things for you makes you feel a little embarrassed and helpless.
2. One minute......the one minute person is doing their own thing and tells you that and makes you feel you have imposed on what they are doing but they will get to it...in a minute
3. The no person. I have a nurse who is always too busy for anything and everything. By the time she explained that she could have brought me my tooth brush and some water, my teeth would have been brushed and everyone would be happier
4. The clarifier. Repeats everything to make sure they got t right and then checks in to be sure. Makes it sound a lot more complicated than necessary but does the job.
5. My favourite. Hands me what I need or quietly helps me get it.
That's it for today. I hope you all have a wonderful Sunday. I'm so looking forward to time with the family maybe we can even find a game around here we could play.
The problem is there has only been very subtle changes in the last week and nothing that is measureable. I can see, and feel differences within myself, but having used my best "fake it until you make it" approach, what I have gained they thought I had already accomplished. For instance, I go ahead and put my right foot on the floor and deliberately walk, carefully rolling the foot from the heel to toe with each stride. It looks slow but natural. Truth is; it has been anything but, I trust it is there and go with it. This week however I have been having moments and times when I do feel it as I walk and it does feel better.
There appears to be a lot of nerve involvement in that foot right now and there are any number of reasons for that. Time is our only cure. We will not know how much is temporary until about the six week mark. At that time the nerves they worked on will have had a chance to settle down a bit. Even a year after surgery some find small improvements. There is a chance that the impairment is permanent. We know that and have put that ugly little thought on the back burner. Doing what we can now is key to get as much function from my leg and foot as possible.
I have a Saturday Physio session again this week, which is fantastic. They have contacts with physios around the city to come in on Saturdays so that there is not such a gap in care. Many want the break....not me.
Little Whinnie McKinny bounded into my room again last night like a ball of golden sunshine, bringing with her the most beautiful Meghan.
We're together for the weekend and unfortunately it is a dull misty rainy one. I have been given day passes to get out a bit. Challenging but doable.
I watched a movie last night before bed and I couldn't tell you a thing about it but it must have worked its magic because I fell asleep right afterward. I'm up to five hours sleep now. Starting to feel more like myself.
It's the little things you miss if they're taken away. Being able to shower and care for yourself, getting where I need to go, reaching things, fitting into an elevator when there are people there, having to ask someone to bring you things feels so foreign yet getting from a comfortable position to get something and try to get back to where you were is almost impossible...asking is better. The worst thing about being dependent on others is the reaction of those you ask to help you.
Seems simple doesn't it. Let me explain.
1. The Overkill....the pillow fluffer, fussy person who can't stop doing things for you makes you feel a little embarrassed and helpless.
2. One minute......the one minute person is doing their own thing and tells you that and makes you feel you have imposed on what they are doing but they will get to it...in a minute
3. The no person. I have a nurse who is always too busy for anything and everything. By the time she explained that she could have brought me my tooth brush and some water, my teeth would have been brushed and everyone would be happier
4. The clarifier. Repeats everything to make sure they got t right and then checks in to be sure. Makes it sound a lot more complicated than necessary but does the job.
5. My favourite. Hands me what I need or quietly helps me get it.
That's it for today. I hope you all have a wonderful Sunday. I'm so looking forward to time with the family maybe we can even find a game around here we could play.
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