Today is the last Sunday we will spend here. I slept a little later and Barry was later coming but but by two o'clock the day was dragging on. It's foggy and raining here in Toronto and looks more like a June day in Newfoundland, than Toronto. Had the sun been sunning we would have had a different day, maybe we would had gone up to the roof top or out to the park and we definitely would have had a latte at the little cafe down the street. It's pride week here so we could have gone somewhere to watch the parade.
Instead were stuck inside. We had a walk around the building. There are ten floors here each has a different speciality. This weekend we walked them all. It was great therapy as far as walking was concerned but it is a pretty sad place to be. Many are here for a very long time. It's been 27 days for us and a week at Toronto Western before. We are feeling the fatigue and wariness that comes from limited conversations and being in hospital and all that comes with it. I am truly grateful for what I have been able to accomplish here, although I am not at the level of readiness I had hoped to be, I am going home.
As I lie here tonight knowing tomorrow is my last full day here, I can't help but feel excited. I don't know how we filled the time but we did. We are a team of four who has done it before and are doing it again. All the old says about whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger can be an annoyance at a time like this, however I have to say there is a glimmer of truth to them. I feel mentally stronger right now than I have in a while. For sure there have been some incredible down times through this process but Roth now on the brink of getting out I know there is a lot ahead of me but I feel strong enough to do it. I have gained a lot from the support I have been given. People have showed up for me right when I needed them. It has been wonderful to allow myself to gain strength from others. It's been a hard lesson for me. I love to give but receiving has been difficult.
This process has allowed me to receive gracefully. I accept help, encouragement and practical things more readily than I ever have in my life. It feels good actually to accept without hesitancy the loving kindness that is not only offered to me but to our family. " A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal" Steve Maraboli.
I know I will look at our pet therapy visits a little differently than I had in the past. I can see now from a patient's point of view, especially the long term patients, what a visitor from the outside can bring in. It has always been lovely visiting with Whinnie and seeing the joy and delight she can bring but I know it will man so more more to me in the future.
I want to hold on to this feeling of appreciation for as long as I can. I was looking at pictures that were on my iPad of our house and the surrounding area. How fortunate we are to have what we have and to be able to enjoy it all as we do.
Instead were stuck inside. We had a walk around the building. There are ten floors here each has a different speciality. This weekend we walked them all. It was great therapy as far as walking was concerned but it is a pretty sad place to be. Many are here for a very long time. It's been 27 days for us and a week at Toronto Western before. We are feeling the fatigue and wariness that comes from limited conversations and being in hospital and all that comes with it. I am truly grateful for what I have been able to accomplish here, although I am not at the level of readiness I had hoped to be, I am going home.
As I lie here tonight knowing tomorrow is my last full day here, I can't help but feel excited. I don't know how we filled the time but we did. We are a team of four who has done it before and are doing it again. All the old says about whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger can be an annoyance at a time like this, however I have to say there is a glimmer of truth to them. I feel mentally stronger right now than I have in a while. For sure there have been some incredible down times through this process but Roth now on the brink of getting out I know there is a lot ahead of me but I feel strong enough to do it. I have gained a lot from the support I have been given. People have showed up for me right when I needed them. It has been wonderful to allow myself to gain strength from others. It's been a hard lesson for me. I love to give but receiving has been difficult.
This process has allowed me to receive gracefully. I accept help, encouragement and practical things more readily than I ever have in my life. It feels good actually to accept without hesitancy the loving kindness that is not only offered to me but to our family. " A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal" Steve Maraboli.
I know I will look at our pet therapy visits a little differently than I had in the past. I can see now from a patient's point of view, especially the long term patients, what a visitor from the outside can bring in. It has always been lovely visiting with Whinnie and seeing the joy and delight she can bring but I know it will man so more more to me in the future.
I want to hold on to this feeling of appreciation for as long as I can. I was looking at pictures that were on my iPad of our house and the surrounding area. How fortunate we are to have what we have and to be able to enjoy it all as we do.
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