There are a lot of first when you go through an experience like the one I've/ we've been through. The first time I tried to move my toes and they didn't move, I was alone and devastated, but I have not been alone for another step along the way. As my toes, feet, and legs gradually began to move through the night that first night I had a group of neurosurgeon's with me each and every milestone that long night. Surgery Day
Jerri, Meghan and Barry were there interchangeably for most of the others. I have to admit though that my first bit of mischief was with my sister and friend Mary. The only difference from growing up was that we didn't have to face Mom and Dad when we got home. We did kind of have to sneak back into "temporary home", Bridgepoint, though. Admittedly, I couldn't wait to call my 87 year old Mom to tell her about it because I knew she'd laugh and she did. She had a great kick out of it all.
Getting home and getting used to my house with a walker and cane was a first that went very well. We are fortunate to have the design of the house we do. Space for my walker yet somewhere to hold onto everywhere as well. The first nights sleep without my specialized spinal gel hospital bed was a concern for my medical team. No need to have been concerned, but after 35 days in hospital my own bed in my own house felt like a feather bed for a princess. I slept like a baby!
One thing that was surprising to us was our first look at our back yard. The lush green of the trees and grass almost seemed HD. We couldn't stop looking at it. We have a lovely piece of property but we also had a lovely view of the skyline in the hospital, the best view at Bridgepoint. It was green with parks and trees, there was a beautiful sky there and lots to look it. It just felt different. In telling friends about coming home last night they couldn't help but wonder what someone in prison for an extended time would feel like. It must be an incredible sensory overload. Of course our experience was nothing like that but it did feel different somehow. I even felt as I did when we first bought the house. It was a mix of disbelief, gratitude and wonder. So nice to be reminded of those feelings.
Going out in the world and putting myself out there is a whole different feeling. I am so physically vulnerable right now that I am gauged in a way I never am. We check and double check for traffic as we cross a street. Knowing that a car will stop for you doesn't mean I won't buckle to the ground if a car comes out of nowhere, which they sometimes can. Walking along the sidewalk with a walker in Callander is as ideal as it gets. It does however challenge me. There are runners, other walkers, families with dogs and strollers, and the dreaded kid on a bike. It all makes me internally nervous but the more I do it the more strategies I am able to gain for dealing with all of it, and the more confident I become.
We had our first dinner with friends last night which felt wonderful. They were the last to share a dinner with us before the surgery and it felt fitting they would be the first upon our arrival home. Jim and Julie are the kind of friends everyone needs in a period of time like this. They get it. We have been friends for twenty years, and seen each other through many ups and downs as friends do. They arrived last night with supper and we sat out on the patio in a relaxed no nonsense way to enjoy it. It was a great evening.
I'm about to embark on another first. I'm going to North Bay to get groceries with Barry. For those not from our area, it is the bigger community just a ten minute drive from Callander. This is a task I did twice a week on my own for twenty five years. Now I have to be driven, helped out of the car, bring a walker and see how it all feels. Okay, I'm off to navigate the "big city" and the grocery store....wish me luck!
Jerri, Meghan and Barry were there interchangeably for most of the others. I have to admit though that my first bit of mischief was with my sister and friend Mary. The only difference from growing up was that we didn't have to face Mom and Dad when we got home. We did kind of have to sneak back into "temporary home", Bridgepoint, though. Admittedly, I couldn't wait to call my 87 year old Mom to tell her about it because I knew she'd laugh and she did. She had a great kick out of it all.
Getting home and getting used to my house with a walker and cane was a first that went very well. We are fortunate to have the design of the house we do. Space for my walker yet somewhere to hold onto everywhere as well. The first nights sleep without my specialized spinal gel hospital bed was a concern for my medical team. No need to have been concerned, but after 35 days in hospital my own bed in my own house felt like a feather bed for a princess. I slept like a baby!
One thing that was surprising to us was our first look at our back yard. The lush green of the trees and grass almost seemed HD. We couldn't stop looking at it. We have a lovely piece of property but we also had a lovely view of the skyline in the hospital, the best view at Bridgepoint. It was green with parks and trees, there was a beautiful sky there and lots to look it. It just felt different. In telling friends about coming home last night they couldn't help but wonder what someone in prison for an extended time would feel like. It must be an incredible sensory overload. Of course our experience was nothing like that but it did feel different somehow. I even felt as I did when we first bought the house. It was a mix of disbelief, gratitude and wonder. So nice to be reminded of those feelings.
Going out in the world and putting myself out there is a whole different feeling. I am so physically vulnerable right now that I am gauged in a way I never am. We check and double check for traffic as we cross a street. Knowing that a car will stop for you doesn't mean I won't buckle to the ground if a car comes out of nowhere, which they sometimes can. Walking along the sidewalk with a walker in Callander is as ideal as it gets. It does however challenge me. There are runners, other walkers, families with dogs and strollers, and the dreaded kid on a bike. It all makes me internally nervous but the more I do it the more strategies I am able to gain for dealing with all of it, and the more confident I become.
We had our first dinner with friends last night which felt wonderful. They were the last to share a dinner with us before the surgery and it felt fitting they would be the first upon our arrival home. Jim and Julie are the kind of friends everyone needs in a period of time like this. They get it. We have been friends for twenty years, and seen each other through many ups and downs as friends do. They arrived last night with supper and we sat out on the patio in a relaxed no nonsense way to enjoy it. It was a great evening.
I'm about to embark on another first. I'm going to North Bay to get groceries with Barry. For those not from our area, it is the bigger community just a ten minute drive from Callander. This is a task I did twice a week on my own for twenty five years. Now I have to be driven, helped out of the car, bring a walker and see how it all feels. Okay, I'm off to navigate the "big city" and the grocery store....wish me luck!
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