Pain Fog: Living in spite of Chronic Pain
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Day 133. Backtracking.

7/7/2015

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You can be so committed to your plans, that you can't see what is right in front of you. For me that means a couple of things. 

I was very proud to have reached the one mile marker a few days ago. I thought that was my new benchmark. I am here to tell you there is a lot of give and take with recovery. I wasn't able to reach a mile again, until today. I had too much pain and fatigue the day after my first time, so I needed to have some recovery time. It didn't mean I stopped completely, I just walked less. It is hard not to be discouraged though.

I'm actually happy I can recognize it for what it is. I can see it is not a setback, but merely a bump in the road. I need to continue to strive for that goal. I knew it would happen again if I gave it time. It's important to leave ego out of this equation, and listen to your body. I'm doing that. I backed off slightly, allowed my body to recover and worked my way up to that mile again.

One of the things about the transition to home is to realize that everything you are doing at home is also physio. We are generally more active at home than in any hospital including a rehab hospital. The comfort of home allows you to more more often with ease and confidence. However all that extra movement can cause fatigue as well.

I have an app on my phone that counts steps among other things. I have been using it as a guide of how much I am doing outside of the house. It is called Pacer, it is free from the App Store. It may not be a perfect representation of all my movements as I don't have my phone on me all the time. It is just a guide.

Yesterday, my sister Mary, her husband Sam and their dog, Merlo arrived. It is so great to have a couple of extra sets of hands. Whinnie enjoys to have company too. Barry and Sam have been working on building new, safer steps off our back deck. There are lawns to cut, doors to paint and then there's me. I'm still a lot of work. I am not very independent, but I am working hard to be that way.

I find myself in the position of needing to ask for help more than I want to. Having a shower is a bit of a production, and it beats me out completely, sometimes causing pain. It is however better every day. My hair is getting beyond the point of needing a cut but I won't be sitting in a salon chair for a while. It will be interesting to see how long I can take it before we have to become creative. A short, stand up hair cut will be in order at some point. Recovery is all about flexibility and being creative.

I like to think I can still do most things that are important to me, but I have to be willing to do them differently or take other's help graciously when offered.
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    Maureen Clout

    I'm going in for a 4th neurosurgery; this time it's a repair to my lumbar fusion. Here, I will post my daily updates on dealing with diagnosis, surgery and recovery. Join me on my journey.

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