Let me rephrase that last statement. I could say.....
I'm having difficultly being thankful this Thanksgiving. I have had three surgeries in less than a year, which have left me with diminished bowel and bladder function. I can only walk with a walker outside and not alone. I have lived with pain and discomfort for most of my adult life. I always need someone by my side. I have no independence and we don't know how much function I will get back. We don't even know if this surgery will be a success until we see a CT scan in November.
I said, I could say. I don't. While both statements about my body are true, very accurate and without exaggeration; I have a choice about my perspective. With perspective comes expectations and motivation. I have learned along time ago that perception is what's makes a situation bearable. If I kept thinking that things were not going to work out for me then all the time and effort I put into Physio would feel like a waste. I know for sure it is never a waste.
I worked hard after my last surgery. Rehabilitation is never easy, but I set my mind to doing the best I could do. It was very disheartening to learn I had to have another surgery, when I had worked so hard to get myself in shape. What I didn't realize was how much all that walking, and rehabilitation would help me gain strength far quicker than anyone expected this time around. I was on my feet and walking very quickly after surgery. I was still in ICU and walking with the walker and a physiotherapist down a hallway. I felt more confident because my legs felt stronger.
That is the perfect silver lining. Had I not done all of that hard work of gaining strength I would have been much weaker after this surgery and most certainly been sent to the rehabilitation hospital once again. So I am not happy that I had to have another surgery but I didn't feel I had wasted my time getting stronger because it paid off. It was the silver lining of this experience.
Had I not had the attitude of assuming everything is well until we know differently, I would not have continued with the walking and therefore would not have had the benefit of the strength it gave me. I'm thankful that I am able to keep focused and move forward.