Pain Fog: Living in spite of Chronic Pain
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Day 278. One tough lady!

12/9/2015

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I'm feeling better, enough to want to eat again. I look as though I've been run over by a truck but make-up can change that....somewhat. I'll see my doctor today.
One of the most common things I hear from people is that I have grit, I'm tough and my resiliency is impressive (that one from a doctor).
When I hear that I feel one of two things, a sense of pride in myself or a feeling of not being able to do this any other way.
I have obstacles every step of the way. As an example and there are many, every time I go to Physio for my back, my knee becomes very painful and swollen. Just when I was gaining strength, I came in contact with food poisoning. I won't bore you with the many other examples but there are many.
I've developed a way of dealing with the sidetracking obstacles. I acknowledge them for what they are and move on. I see too many people give up; which I feel like doing, but I know it's a dark place to be.
The art of grieving is an important one, I'm not dismissing it. We all must take the time to grieve a little of the loss of former self, but don't stay stuck in it. The opportunities for happiness will pass you by while your head is down crying.
I've lived by that most of my adult life. I experienced a tragedy at aged eighteen when my boyfriend ended his life. I was, of course, devastated. At that time nobody thought much about counselling and care for those left behind. I had to deal with it myself. I read everything I could and came to some understanding of not blaming myself and went on to work in the field of social work. I had developed the non-victim approach with myself and I starting talking to others about it too. I could see that those who stayed in the victim role stayed stuck in the past, and those who did not could actually move on with their lives. I'm not dismissing the hardship I felt or many others feel daily. I just know for me I couldn't let it define me or I would have fallen down and not gotten up. There are many people in this world who live with the pain of loss and they move on. When you look in the world today it is around us everywhere. Think of those millions of Syrian refugees. They have left their homes and everything they have known and loved, to WALK to a better life. That is the kind of pain most of us will never feel, thankfully. Some of them have physical pain as well as the mental anguish they are feeling. Yet the human spirit is strong and they are ready and willing to come to a country they have never even heard of to start over. We all have the resiliency within us, we just need to find it.
I have lived my life and raised a family with that approach. Be grateful for what you have and deal with adversity as it comes, but don't let it define you.
One thing I know for sure is in this life we all need a little help from time to time, and it is much easier to help someone who is helping themselves. It is also much more pleasant to be around those who understand life has it bumps and rough spots. We are never alone in that, it may look as though you're getting more than your fair share but we never know what is happening in the lives of others.
There's a good article about resiliency I was reading today I thought I would share this with you. ​

I was talking to my niece this week and I smiled at her comment, "Aunt Maureen you are one tough lady."
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    Maureen Clout

    I'm going in for a 4th neurosurgery; this time it's a repair to my lumbar fusion. Here, I will post my daily updates on dealing with diagnosis, surgery and recovery. Join me on my journey.

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