Pain Fog: Living in spite of Chronic Pain
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Day 297. Family and Friends. 

12/28/2015

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It's been about a week since Meg first arrived home and Christmas started for us. Tomorrow morning Jerri leaves to head back to Toronto and the family is separate again. All in all its been a great visit but none of us would say it was a typical Christmas. My fatigue and pain has hampered participation with most things.
I love the hustle and bustle usually, but this year any activity, no matter how modified wore me out. I loved it while doing it but had to rest afterward. I can't say I wasn't forewarned; my doctor was fantastic, in that he was able to lay it out for me and told me to expect this. Three major surgeries involving the spine, in one year, takes major recovery. I'm impatient and I want it now, and with every milestone there can easily be a set back. I'm not complaining, but being realistic. When you look put together and are back to regular activities many people can't see how much help you actually need.
I write about my experience to educate others about the silent struggles many of us have. Usually it it short term and we are back to ourselves before it becomes a lifestyle choice. For those of us who have chronic pain or conditions, we have to think differently about just about everything.
It has made me appreciate the differences in people. When you are having an interaction with a stranger we have no idea what their lives are like, what struggles they have or what their home situation entails. We often come to a place of judgement by comparing the actions of others to what we would do in the same situation. The problem with that is no two people experience the same situation the same way. I'm careful now to think before I say "if that was me I would....."
Another way to reframe that is to ask the person, could you do it .....this way? Because it is possible they haven't thought of your idea but it is just as likely that your idea will not work for them based on their life experiences.
I'm resting now after a family clean up session before our guests arrive. I have learned to conserve energy so that there is energy for fun. The fun time with family and friends have carried me through this process of recovery and I know I can put my head down and work on the Physio because you have to work hard, to play hard.
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    Maureen Clout

    I'm going in for a 4th neurosurgery; this time it's a repair to my lumbar fusion. Here, I will post my daily updates on dealing with diagnosis, surgery and recovery. Join me on my journey.

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