Last night was one of those nights. It was a terrible, rotten, no good, night! I went to bed at 11:30 pm, and I was so tired. I promptly woke, refreshed and ready to start the day at 1:28 am. I couldn't believe it when I checked the time. First I waited. Nothing. I tried my wonderful sleep mediation, still awake. I read with my teeny tiny night light. It was now about 3:30 am. I tried rescue remedy for sleep. I meditated again. Twice in one night I heard the whole sleep meditation, something I have never done before. I had many recurring thoughts spiralling through my head and none of them good, I decided to just be. I am awake, and the rest of the world is asleep I was thinking. A lot of you reading this feel like that on many occasions, but that thought is not really true. It didn't take me long to see I wasn't the only one awake at that hour. The minute I picked up my iPad I saw I had company. Facebook can be a wonderful thing.
I didn't fall asleep at all after I woke so I thought my day would be ruined. I went ahead and kept my appointment with my Athletic Therapist who helped me with neck strain and spasms. That was well worth dragging myself in for. He was also very positive about my upcoming surgery. He thinks it will take time but I will be happy with the results compared to where I am today. I actually had a little spring in my step after I left there.
I met some of my friends from our pain management course for a coffee date. It was fun to get to know them more on a personal level, not just people in pain. Great to have a group who understands without a word.
The sun was shining today as it has been often this spring, but today there was a real warmth to it. I wanted to be outside. With every activity, I was tentative. What if the pain comes back I was thinking. My answer was... then I will go home. I got to do a few much needed errands and was out on my own without a cane for the first time in weeks. It may not seem like much, but to me it felt like a little gift.
Being dependent on others is a part of life. We all must allow ourselves to be vulnerable at times. It is not a comfortable feeling for me, and I know many of you feel the same way. It is an opportunity for growth on the part of the person helping us, and for us to. I know that to be true from the many readings I have done, yet it doesn't come easily.
Brenne Brown, and I summarize here, says Wholehearted people fully embrace vulnerability and understand the importance of how it makes them a beautiful, whole person. I tend to agree with her. It is an uncomfortable, but necessary part of relationships. I will talk about this more in a future post.
Accepting that vulnerability is a necessary part of life is one thing, but experiencing the freedom of independence is a great thing too. Nice to have the opportunity to experience that today, and for that, I thank my legs for taking me where I wanted to go.
“The strongest love is the love that can demonstrate its fragility.”
― Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes
I didn't fall asleep at all after I woke so I thought my day would be ruined. I went ahead and kept my appointment with my Athletic Therapist who helped me with neck strain and spasms. That was well worth dragging myself in for. He was also very positive about my upcoming surgery. He thinks it will take time but I will be happy with the results compared to where I am today. I actually had a little spring in my step after I left there.
I met some of my friends from our pain management course for a coffee date. It was fun to get to know them more on a personal level, not just people in pain. Great to have a group who understands without a word.
The sun was shining today as it has been often this spring, but today there was a real warmth to it. I wanted to be outside. With every activity, I was tentative. What if the pain comes back I was thinking. My answer was... then I will go home. I got to do a few much needed errands and was out on my own without a cane for the first time in weeks. It may not seem like much, but to me it felt like a little gift.
Being dependent on others is a part of life. We all must allow ourselves to be vulnerable at times. It is not a comfortable feeling for me, and I know many of you feel the same way. It is an opportunity for growth on the part of the person helping us, and for us to. I know that to be true from the many readings I have done, yet it doesn't come easily.
Brenne Brown, and I summarize here, says Wholehearted people fully embrace vulnerability and understand the importance of how it makes them a beautiful, whole person. I tend to agree with her. It is an uncomfortable, but necessary part of relationships. I will talk about this more in a future post.
Accepting that vulnerability is a necessary part of life is one thing, but experiencing the freedom of independence is a great thing too. Nice to have the opportunity to experience that today, and for that, I thank my legs for taking me where I wanted to go.
“The strongest love is the love that can demonstrate its fragility.”
― Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes
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