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Day 81. The Original Surgery Date. 

5/13/2015

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Today was the date,I was originally given as a surgery date. May 13th. I would be nearing the end of it by now, having started at 8am. Instead I am two weeks away from the surgery date. I was disappointed to have to wait two weeks longer, but now that it is here I am okay with it. I am of the belief that things happen as they should. I woke early this morning and it being grocery day I got up and got out of the house early to drop Barry at work.

I have become disengaged with food these days. I find it hard to make meals, and grocery shopping can be absolute torture. Which I am told it is for some people all of the time. If you hate cooking, than that's one thing, but for someone who loves to cook these feelings are new to me.

This dread I feel about choosing groceries, getting them home and putting away, is a new experience all together. You see for those of us who love to cook having someone else get the groceries is almost unheard of. I used to love to look at; the cut of meat, the freshness of the fish, the vibrancy of the peppers and the smells of the fruit as I shopped for our family. The choosing of the food was a part of the cooking of the food.

That has changed. There's not much joy in that whole process when every step is painful and you feel as through you're on borrowed time before your legs give out. Now I go with somebody, or Barry picks it up on the way home. Not quite the same. I have to stop myself from being critical of some of the choices he makes. He does well, but does make different choices. It all feels so piecemeal when it is done like this as well. I like a plan and a full fridge to choose from. Those days will be back, until then we will make do with how it goes now.

I have never much cared for pre-cooked meals in grocery stores. Eating out is an occasional thing for us, so I am responsible for the planning, buying and cooking of all of our meals. It has never felt like a burden to me, I quite enjoyed it, that is, until now. The trouble is for someone who loved home cooked food, canned soup and grilled cheese, doesn't cut it. That was Barry's suggestion for last night. Instead he went to the grocery store and found a nice pork tenderloin which we marinated and barbecued, veggies and rice and it was a fine meal.

Cooking takes time, energy and interest. One thing I know for sure about recovering from surgery is, good food helps. I love a good take out once in a while, but there needs to be homemade food as well.

Jerri and I were busy preparing and stocking the freezer to help with the after surgery meals. We should be good for a couple of weeks.

I have some old standards that we use in a pinch. There's a bottled butter chicken sauce that requires only a couple of cut up boneless chicken breast sautéed then simmered in the sauce. We serve it with basmati rice and cauliflower and broccoli.

Another fast favourite of ours is baked potato, vegetables and anything on the barbecue. I alway have spaghetti sauce prepared and frozen in freezer bags, and have lots of pasta on hand. Those days when I feel as though I can't put a meal together we get a salad in a bag and dig out some spaghetti sauce.

As for fresh vegetables I buy three or four different varieties and wash and cut them up all at once. They are stored in a freezer bag and ready to go anytime we need them. I can grab a handful of each and put them in the steamer for any meal. I had always made salads, but now find the bags of salads offer such variety for such a good price that I buy them now to make it easy and quick. So far we have gotten by with out too many ordered pizzas and fast food, but I know those days will come and we will enjoy that too.

Here's hoping my love and interest in cooking comes back with my ability to do so!

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    Maureen Clout

    I'm going in for a 4th neurosurgery; this time it's a repair to my lumbar fusion. Here, I will post my daily updates on dealing with diagnosis, surgery and recovery. Join me on my journey.

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