I'm bored. I have never watched so much T.V. in my life. I have done all the little things around here that I am still capable of doing; and yet there are more hours in the day than I can fill. I have read everything I can get my hands on and spent many hours chatting on the phone.
Tomorrow that changes. I get to go out amongst people again, probably for the last time before my surgery.
This is a very special occasion. A wedding. When I first found out I was going to have surgery there were two weddings I would have to miss, this one and one in July. When they changed the date of the surgery it allowed me to attend this one.
The Lochheads are a wonderful family. A family we have been very chose to for almost 25 years. Our daughter Meghan was the flower girl in their eldest daughters wedding (Shanna & Brian) and now their second daughter Rachel (& Dan) is getting married tomorrow. It is so wonderful to see a family grow and change over the years and even have families of their own. This feels like a circle of life moment. I am so very happy I'm going to be able to be there to witness it. Tomorrow our daughters with be there with dates of their own.
A lot of planning goes into every wedding and I am sure this one in particular will be wonderful. Rachel has an eye for detail and is a meticulous planner and with Shanna as a Matron of honour, they are unstoppable.
I had an approach of planning regarding this wedding myself. I knew if I was going to be able to make the drive and the wedding I would have to be in the best shape I could be. This week I did nothing! Since Mother's Day I have been preparing for tomorrow. I have only been out once this week and that was to get a bag of groceries. I've gotten more sleep and rested through the day. I consciously controlled the pain as it came. I think I feel pretty good, considering. There is no trace of the flu left and the pain is better without the usual activity. How I look, well that's another story. I have never been in worse shape in my life. My 87 year old mother has more muscle tone than I do, and I'm white as a ghost! The good news is there probably won't be a weight competition at the wedding and I can wear a lot of make up.
It's taken me a lot of time to discover how much preparation makes a difference when you really want to do something. It often means the difference between doing it and not.
• We arranged an early check in. I will rest or go to the hot tub before we get ready for the wedding
• The day of the wedding, like every day, I will scan each room as I enter to find the most comfortable chair, or place, to situate myself. I do so inconspicuously because my injury is invisible and especially at a time like a wedding, I want it to remain so.
• I will allow Barry and the girls to cover for me if I need to walk away from a conversation to find a seat or quiet place. I won't stand at all cost to be polite.
• I will look around the room and realize that I am not alone. In any larger gathering of people there are others like me, who have limitations and are making the best of it.
• Most importantly, I will not have any negative self talk about me and my injury. I will enjoy what is possible for me at this time and not bemoan what is not.
• Acceptance acceptance acceptance
• I find joy in other people and their ability to throw their heads back and laugh, find fun in the moment and go for it.
Time with family and dear friends who are like family is nourishing to the soul. I will enjoy every minute. Tomorrow is a blessing and one that I so look forward to. I will drink in all the beauty and store up the laughter in my memory to draw upon as needed in the future.
"You can argue with the way things are. You will be wrong 100% of the time." Byron Katie
Tomorrow that changes. I get to go out amongst people again, probably for the last time before my surgery.
This is a very special occasion. A wedding. When I first found out I was going to have surgery there were two weddings I would have to miss, this one and one in July. When they changed the date of the surgery it allowed me to attend this one.
The Lochheads are a wonderful family. A family we have been very chose to for almost 25 years. Our daughter Meghan was the flower girl in their eldest daughters wedding (Shanna & Brian) and now their second daughter Rachel (& Dan) is getting married tomorrow. It is so wonderful to see a family grow and change over the years and even have families of their own. This feels like a circle of life moment. I am so very happy I'm going to be able to be there to witness it. Tomorrow our daughters with be there with dates of their own.
A lot of planning goes into every wedding and I am sure this one in particular will be wonderful. Rachel has an eye for detail and is a meticulous planner and with Shanna as a Matron of honour, they are unstoppable.
I had an approach of planning regarding this wedding myself. I knew if I was going to be able to make the drive and the wedding I would have to be in the best shape I could be. This week I did nothing! Since Mother's Day I have been preparing for tomorrow. I have only been out once this week and that was to get a bag of groceries. I've gotten more sleep and rested through the day. I consciously controlled the pain as it came. I think I feel pretty good, considering. There is no trace of the flu left and the pain is better without the usual activity. How I look, well that's another story. I have never been in worse shape in my life. My 87 year old mother has more muscle tone than I do, and I'm white as a ghost! The good news is there probably won't be a weight competition at the wedding and I can wear a lot of make up.
It's taken me a lot of time to discover how much preparation makes a difference when you really want to do something. It often means the difference between doing it and not.
• We arranged an early check in. I will rest or go to the hot tub before we get ready for the wedding
• The day of the wedding, like every day, I will scan each room as I enter to find the most comfortable chair, or place, to situate myself. I do so inconspicuously because my injury is invisible and especially at a time like a wedding, I want it to remain so.
• I will allow Barry and the girls to cover for me if I need to walk away from a conversation to find a seat or quiet place. I won't stand at all cost to be polite.
• I will look around the room and realize that I am not alone. In any larger gathering of people there are others like me, who have limitations and are making the best of it.
• Most importantly, I will not have any negative self talk about me and my injury. I will enjoy what is possible for me at this time and not bemoan what is not.
• Acceptance acceptance acceptance
• I find joy in other people and their ability to throw their heads back and laugh, find fun in the moment and go for it.
Time with family and dear friends who are like family is nourishing to the soul. I will enjoy every minute. Tomorrow is a blessing and one that I so look forward to. I will drink in all the beauty and store up the laughter in my memory to draw upon as needed in the future.
"You can argue with the way things are. You will be wrong 100% of the time." Byron Katie
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