Yesterday that changed a little. With less than a week to go we have been crossing things off our list and seeing friends, planning for the dog etc.
Barry spoke first. He said "I hate the idea of seeing you like that again, in so much pain." Okay,there it was out. I had been lying beside him thinking the same thing.
We had our "Oh My God" moment,then went on with our day. The truth is, its close enough now that thinking about it is enviable. The practical things that need to be in place are happening or being arranged, so it is never far from my mind.
I was able to be calm, present and accepting through the waiting process. My goal is to be the same through the recovery progress. I know I have a good team of professionals in place and I have a lot of faith and trust in them. It is difficult with family so far away though. It would be much easier if I lived in the same community as my family. I feel as though a lot falls on Barry, and while that concerns me I know there isn't anything I can do about that. We have good friends, I know when we need them they will be there. Last night was one such night, friends came with dinner and we had a wonderful evening eating and enjoying each other's company. That is nourishment for the soul.
My sister Mary will be here with her husband Sam for a while so that will help to have someone here while Barry is at work. We are so grateful to have them. They are great company and I know they will be a great help too. Sam cleans a mean bathroom!
The girls will have started new jobs so they will do what they can on weekends.
I'm going to be an excellent patient. I've already decided. I will,for once in my life, do as I am told. I want to heal well, and heal quickly.
My first day without Celebrex was a challenging one. I realize once again what a difference that drug has made to my mobility for all these years. I feel stiffness and pain in joints I didn't even know hurt, and the ones I was aware of,are screaming at me. Aren't we fortunate to live in a country and time where relief is available to us. I feel so fortunate for that.
Another challenge has been to stay healthy. Any sign of a cold or flu and the surgery is called off. Today Barry woke with a scratchy throat. Not the end of the world on any given day, but it is the worst possible time for that to happen in this house. He has to take Tamiflu. Never anything we would worry about any other time, but now it is crucial. So close, we almost made it!
The sun is shinning, the apple tree is in full bloom, the sky is pure blue. I'm going to sit on the deck and breathe in the beautiful smells of spring,and meditate today. I am also very thankful I don't suffer from seasonal allergies.