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Day 393. Progress.

4/1/2016

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Progress is in the eye of the beholder. It's Important to see things through the right lens. If I were to look at where I am today in terms of what I can and cannot do I would definitely feel frustrated. What I have learned through all of this is to have some prospective on it. I can be frustrated with the slow snail pace I improve or I can be grateful that the progress is happening at whatever pace it is. And it is happening.
I started a fitness plan thirteen days ago. It felt unrealistic at the time but I needed a goal and it excited me to have a challenge. The good news is it has been thirteen days and aside from the normal walking involved with daily activities such as shopping etc. I have walked 18 Kms in those 13 days.
There were many days, (to be honest, most days) I didn't want to do it. I would tell myself I would start and not finish if I didn't want to. Turns out starting is the hardest part. Once I started the walk I finished, EVERYTIME.
Throughout this process I have had little milestones along the way and it actually started with being able to stand by myself, dress myself etc. That seems to have been a lifetime ago. It was a mere eight months ago. I could not lift a coffee pot for months afterward without causing pain. In the last six weeks I noticed so many little changes that it feels as though something has clicked. Not only can I lift the coffee pot but I can carry it pour coffee now. It doesn't seem like much but it's an indicator, one of many, that I'm well on my way and just in time. I have a follow up and cat scan with my surgeon at the end of April.
I did make a promise to my physiotherapist that I would be realistic and stop if I needed to. There were days when I thought I would go farther but as I got there knew it was time to stop. There is a fine line between pushing yourself and pushing toward injury. Fatigue is okay, some pain is expected but days of pain afterward means I've overdone it. For once in my life, I think I have it and I'm ready to listen. The message is moderation, the message always seems to be moderation. It's never been my strong suit. If I start I finish and usually finish fast. I've always been an "all in" kind of girl, but I'm learning. I'm seeing the merit in taking my time, and being realistic and calculated. In life as with exercise, moderation is key.
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    Maureen Clout

    I'm going in for a 4th neurosurgery; this time it's a repair to my lumbar fusion. Here, I will post my daily updates on dealing with diagnosis, surgery and recovery. Join me on my journey.

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